Healthy Relationships = Respect & Trust

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Hello there,

I realize something when i was listening to MIX fm (94.5) radio yesterday. It’s actually a PSA (public service announcement) keep you alert with abusive relationship. Did you know you are actually in a abusive relationship? Did you know who? Did you know how many people are actually stay in abusive relationship? Scared me man. When i think again, yeah..actually we are in those situation even though your partner did it for once, still they do it again.

People in these relationships sometimes mistake the abuse for intense feelings of caring or concern. It can even seem flattering. Think of a friend whose boyfriend or girlfriend is very jealous. Maybe it seems like your friend’s partner really cares. But actually, excessive jealousy and controlling behavior are not signs of affection at all.

Love involves respect and trust, it doesn’t mean constantly worrying about the possible end of the relationship. If you feel nervous or insecure about your relationship, it’s important to talk it through with your boyfriend or girlfriend, not try to control their behavior.

Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, and consideration for the other person. Sadly, some relationships can turn bad.This is really important to let people realize how is their relationship going. Is this healthy or is not?

Here are the 15 Signs You’re In An Abusive Relationship :-

1. He pushes for quick involvement.  He comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this before by anyone.” You get pressured for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

2. There is jealousy. Your partner is excessively possessive, calls constantly, or visits unexpectedly.

3. He is controlling. He interrogates you intensely about who you talked to and where you were; checks mileage on the car; keeps all the money or asks for receipts; insists you ask for permission to go anywhere or do anything.

4. He has very unrealistic expectations. He expects you to be the perfect person and meet their every need.

5. There is isolation. He tries to cut you off from family and friends; deprives you of a phone or car, or tries to prevent you from holding a job.

6. He blames others for his own mistakes. The boss, family, you – it’s always someone else’s fault if anything goes wrong.

7. He makes everyone else responsible for their feelings. The abuser says, “You make me angry” instead of “I’m angry.” “I wouldn’t get so pissed off if you wouldn’t…that’s also a warning of possible abuse, and is a sign that your partner is trying to manipulate you. A statement like this is controlling and is used by people who are only concerned about getting what they want not caring about what you want. Trust your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t

8. There is hypersensitivity. He Is easily insulted and will often rant and rave about injustices that are just part of life.

9. He is cruel to animals and children. He kills or punishes animals brutally. He also may expect children to do things beyond their ability, or tease them until they cry.

10. His “playful” use of force during sex.He enjoys throwing you down or holding you down against your will; he says they find the idea of rape exciting. Intimidates, manipulates, or forces you to engage in unwanted sex acts.

11. There is verbal abuse. He constantly criticizes you or says cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. He will use vulnerable points about your past/life against you.

12. There are rigid gender roles. He Expects you to serve, obey, and remain at home.

13. He has sudden mood swings. He switches from loving to angry in a matter of minutes.

14. He has a past of battering. He admits to hitting women in the past, but states that they or the situation brought it on.

15. There are threats of violence. He makes statements such as, “I’ll break your neck,” but then dismisses it with “I really didn’t mean it.”

If you or someone you love identifies with these signs, it may be time to escape. No more second thought!

by Wendy Kay

Read more at http://www.yourtango.com

And answer quick questions to determine your relationship at http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

Love,

xo, f.

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