Need a psychiatrist.

Dear Lovers,

I let things out here from my chest, my heart and my mind. I really need a psychiatrist to talk about this. Not that am crazy but i will get crazy when i thought about it. This is serious matter. I need someone that doesn’t know me barely. I have complicated and messy minded right now. I feel empty when you talk about relationship, i feel simple when you talk about life, and i don’t care what people have to say to me because am not asking for their opinion i just keep to myself. Am i mentally sick or i just psycho myself and make my life miserable. Is it because an acceptance from my surrounding or i already start to think about my future?I don’t know mannnn this is just what you call madness. I love what i do now, maybe am fear of commitment, or maybe fear of losing love, or just too strong to live alone. But no “Don’t get too comfortable with being alone, somebody needs you”. See everything just keep running on my mind they can’t stop. I know what i do is careless towards some people but deep inside have thousands of reasons, thousands of thinking to do. More to independent person don’t need someone else to push me to do something that i don’t enjoy doing it. But that’s life my mum said. I have my own dreams, i have my own plans, my own target. Am sick of people pushing me around and have this high expectations on me. I can’t be totally what you want am sorry. I can’t be that one person can make you proud of me. But at least i try. Am not that person. Not because i don’t have time but because i think the other way round where not all people with me. Why? I have my right for my own freedom. There is no designated time for anything in your life. You don’t have to have your soul mate at any certain time, you don’t have to get married in your 20′s and you don’t have to do anything just because other people think it’s best. In fact, you will be much better off if you just do what your heart says. The day you stop caring what other people think is the day their opinions don’t mean anything, because you’re not there to give them weight. 

Much Love, 

xo, f.

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