Halo

Good Morning Sunshine! Can you feel Friday vibes? yeah because for us in Malaysia we going to celebrate a Malaysia Day tomorrow which fall on every 16 September and it’s a public holiday. So Friday feel indeed. How’s your morning going? good? I had breakfast this morning with mother and what else you could ask for. I feel blessed. On the other thing, I always have this thought keep on running on my mind. You know am always scared. You know i always think i might mess things up. You know i would rather take off running the other way round than letting someone in close enough to hurt me.

It takes a lot to be the type of person i am today. I believe in love so much, yet i also fear of it. I understand, i respect, and even i know the power it has over people when you do get it right. And that’s what scares me. Am afraid of something i don’t have any control over.

Am afraid of letting someone in. Am afraid they are gonna find out everything about me and they’re gonna take off. So i beat them too it. I always think it’s easier to run from love than let someone love me. It’s taken me this long to learn to love myself. Those voices inside my head that tell me, am not gonna make it this time around again deserve to be silenced.

I know i question love as much as i believe in it. But at least i should know i deserve it. I deserve love more than anyone i know. I am someone who loves so deeply and sometimes i wonder where that even come from. How can a heart that has known so much pain and sadness love others so deeply? How can a face I know has cried so many tears late at night smile and make everyone else’s life brighter? How are you not defeated? How do you still give others hope?

I over analyze things because i know at any moment someone’s mind can change. Because its happened. So i try and prepare for those types of things. I look for the warning signs so heartbreak doesn’t come as such a shock. I get to these dead ends time and time again and i think the common factors is myself.

But i’ll come to learn one day everything is going to make sense. Always think that the grass is always greener on the other side, and moving forward with positive mind. Even though there is no confirmation in the future, but at least i put trust on HIM.

I do hope and pray to meet someone that i know he will not run, if he does he will never leave me behind because i do know and realize am not surrounded with crown of light.

#now playing Beyoncé – Halo

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